y0uenviime
daughterslove's Cancer Blog
May 15, 2008
| mom, dont give up..i need you | Views: 478 |
yes. i said it. i feel shes giving up hope, although we’re not even “there” yet. she hasnt even started radation or chemo shes given up. she got her feeding tube put in monday, and that just set her off track. she looks horrible. she hasnt ate nothing since monday, and shes not being fed by the tube yet. (the doctors wanted it for when she starts treatment ) why is she doing this? shes telling me “Rachel, i’ll eat when im hungry” but yet, shes throwing up biel and shes getting dehydrated. i just bought her some ensure drinks, and i made her drink some, and then put some in her tube. then again, she told me she feels like shes gonna throw up! she hasnt had a Bowel movement in a week either. why? b.c SHE HASNT ATE! and she complains shes in so much pain and tired.—its only been what, 3 weeks since diagnosed with stage 4 cancer? i mean shes always been tired, and in pain from this, but NOT his bad. i think it mentally took a tole on her. just 3 weeks ago before she found out she had cancer, she wanted to do everything, she worked everyday, pulled 16 hour doubles! and now i think she really gave up. shes gonna put herself in the hospital before she even really needs to be there. sorry for all my ranting.. but what can i do? any advice? i need her to be positive. seems to me, she doesnt wanna eat, not taking care of her tube (flushing it wise) and not eating! what does that mean to u? has she given up hope? =(
06.22.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
I wonder if there are some anti depressants or something to help her. I don’t know if that is the right answer or not, but just thought i would mention it.
When my doctor first told me what I had, I though “Hey, I’ll fight and be strong. No biggie…” A few weeks later I crashed, huge break down. I did give up. I just KNEW that I was going to die and there was no point in doing anything. And I hadn’t seen the oncologist yet! I felt sorry for myself. I slept a lot, ate very little. I didn’t talk to anyone for 2 weeks. And I’m already on antidepressants. Its a heavy burden, but keep going! Keep being there for her! And you keep leaning on us! For most there is a period where you’re angry and grieving for yourself, but at some point it turns around.
XOXOBouts of depression and giving up come with this burden of cancer. I don’t care how many advances are made or medications come out, cancer kills people and when I heard cancer thats what I thought. I did not think, “I will overcome”, “I will beat this”. I thought I was done.
Two years later and no sign of disease and I am still nervous about it. I have been with a lot of people with a lot of cancers and one thing is constant, everyone has to come to their own terms with this. Everyone who has cancer has to deal with it in their own way and time and place. There is no “right” way to cope and I don’t think there is a “wrong” way either.
This is you mom and you want her to fight and win and overcome and I think thats great, but right now she needs to find her way through this and most of all she needs you to love her…no matter what.
I pray for you both. Love is gentle and kind. Just love her.
Mac