daughterslove's Cancer Blog

May 3, 2008

first day back at work!

Views: 444

well i’ve been so sick over the past week from the cancer news that i’ve heard about my mom. all week didnt shower,work, clean, NOTHING. all i did was cry. i’m all cried out now. i finally went to work! i felt so much better working and had way more energy then i do at home! i kept on my feet. i couldnt stop thinking about her. everyone there knows her (shes worked at my job for 7 years ) maybe thats why work is even harder for me. everyone there is like family. their actually doing some type of bake sale for a fund raiser since shes out of work now. i definitely feel that my work is a BIG huge support system. they all L0VE my mom. everyone is devastated at the sametime. last night, i went to sleep with knots in my stomach, and guess what? i woke up with them =( my stomachs been turning allll day. OK - heres for the great news! my mom came down to NJ (where i live now) from PA! she was going to a cancer center in PA when she kept telling me and her husband “im gonna be ok, i’ll drive myself to radation” umm no she cant! i dont even think she KNOWs what shes gonna be going through and how sick she’ll be. so my aunts talked my step dad into moving back down here to NJ so she can be with us. so we can all come together and help her. if she stays in PA she be all alone and very sick. we dont want that. so im so so soooo excited my mommy is moving back for the 7weeks for radation! its pretty much offical. oh , and i havent seen her in a couple weeks, i’m gonna be seeing her in about 15 minuntes i cant wait. this is the first time i’m gonna be seeing her since i found out. im gonna hug her so tight and not wanan let go. but then again, i’m soooo nervous on how i’m gonna act. i dont want her to see my cry. i DONT wanna see her cry. how do u cope with this? is it ok to cry? everyone is telling me NO! BE STRONG FOR HER! feedback please.

Mac – thank you so much for your reply. it helped me alot. im happy you support me and i support you. i look forward on getting to know you and becoming a new friend. i see gonna catch up and read your posts. i will though.
—Rachel

Posted on May 3, 2008 at 12:32:08 PM by Rachel ( first day back at work!, 1 comment)

“Be strong for her”..as if not crying makes cancer vanish.

Let me make a suggestion…be real for her, cry with her, let her know it is okay to cry and be scared. It is not alright to give up but it is more than okay to be real and honest and this is really scary and really ugly and REALLY sucks.

But it also really important to stay hopeful and faithful and positive. To be open to the fact that some days are gonna be tear filled and some days will be laughter filled. Don’t waste a second, this is the ultimate wake up call. say whats in your heart, love and be loved.

You will do fine and this will make you see you are both so much stronger than either of you believe.

Be blessed
Mac

Posted on May 3, 2008 at 2:30:58 PM by rigidridr