y0uenviime
daughterslove's Cancer Blog
April 13, 2010
Hey!
How everyone is doing? Wanted to update you all on some very bad news. Just found out three weeks ago my moms husband has cancer. there’s a tumor behind his eye and it’s cancerous. He needs to go for PET scans to see where else it might be. I can’t believe this. my mother only passed 6 months ago! i really hate this horrible disease ;(
on another note: i see they have memorial pages for everyone that has passed. I don’t see my mom on there, unless i overlooked it?
Hugs
Rachel xoxox
November 20, 2009
hey. how is everyone feeling these days? I just wanted to post in and say hi. tell you guys how i’m feeling and doing. I have my good days & bad. I had my daughter sept 25th at 10:37am. via csection. I had 3 surgeries during it. which wasn’t expected. ( from my csection 3 years before ) the doctors messed up on my insides & didnt put my bowels in the right place. They had to cut 3 ft of my intestines out! I feel much better, it was hell what i went through. i was in a lot of pain. i had tubes coming out of everywhere. My daughter is now 2 months old. she’s perfect. sometimes i wonder, if my mom is inside of her. (spiritually). i cry sometimes when i look at her, as she keeps getting older, it will only remind me on how long it’s been without my mom. I don’t feel her. I wish i did. Death is so crazy to me, and it scares me because it’s the “unknown” I’ve always believed in Heaven, but I know if she was there, somehow, someway, she would come to me. give me a sign, anything. when she passed, i cried and prayed every single day for a sign. 2 months later, still nothing. I miss her so much it’s unbelievable. It’s a pain like no other. Well i hope everyone is doing good, if u can write back to me. And i would really like to know why she hasn’t come to me? if anybody knows?
Congratulations on your baby! And It’s great to hear from you! Don’t lose your faith in God. Look at your baby. Your daughter is the miracle of life. Look at the birds, the trees, the ocean and this planet full of life around you. It didn’t magically happen. I didn’t believe in God for a long time. When parents died and i got cancer i rediscovered my faith. I was blessed with a new outlook on life, blessed to understand how precious life is, how precious time is, and blessed to know that we will all die.
I miss my mother and father terribly. When my Dad died he came to me in a couple of dreams a couple of months after his passing. He was younger and happier and I understood he was alright.
My Mom took many months to come to me in my dreams. I prayed that she was ok. Almost a year later she did appear in my dreams. She too was younger and happy. I woke up in tears.
Never lose heart! she is in you and with you always. You probably think about her more than ever. Remember and relive the lessons she taught you, catch yourself doing something she used to do or say.
Every night i read this prayer which gives me strength. I hope it will give you some as well.
God bless you!
Jacques
“Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope, where there is darkness, light and where the is sadness, joy”
“Oh Divine Master, grant that I may no so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, and it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned and it is in dying, that we are born to eternal life.
— St. Francis of Assisi
Posted on hi, rachel. sounds like you have yourself a beautiful new daughter. congratulations and i am so glad all the pain with the delivery is now behind you. as far as your mom… i lost my mom many years ago when i was in my late teens. i cannot say the she has ever “come back” persay, but i somehow always know she is around me. i truly feel that she is just a prayer away. shortly after my cancer diagnosis i prayed and asked her to give me a sign if she still loved me and would be with me through all this cancer stuff. a few days later i was throwing away a pair of shoes i had worn out and there on the bottom of one of the shoes was a praying hands pin. stuck right in the bottom of the shoe. needless to say, i took it out of the shoe and now have it sitting on a coffee table in my den. i know it was her way of telling me she does still love me and that she is here with me. that just confirmed what i had always thought. your mom is around you…i truly believe that. i wish you peace and comfort in your life. enjoy what God has given you. keep the faith. debby
Posted on I’m so sorry about your mom. It must be the most awful thing…to loose your mother…the one that has been there for you through everything.
Looking for a sign…well, look at your baby’s eyes…she can’t talk yet, but perhaps your mom is watching you through her eyes. She is part of your baby. Sometimes the signs can be very subtle. There is no paranormal experience…just a feeling of love that washes over you when you are holding your child or a quiet time or hectic time. She is IN YOUR HEART and is continuing to love you. I truly believe that. Whether you have a dream or not…she is there…
Talk to her like she was there. Ask her questions you would normally have if she was still here.
But don’t just look in the past…you have so much now,,,here.
I don’t know you, but those are my thoughts. Hugs to you and your young ones.
Teresa
Posted on Dear Rachel; I totally understand how you feel. I lost my Mom when I was only 18 and I have never really recovered from her death. But I have managed to rid the pain and be grateful for the years she gave to me as a warm, loving friend and mother. I have had dreams, some not so nice and some that make me smile. She suffered a great deal and that has always stayed with me. I lost my Father and Stepmother and Aunt to Cancer as well. I have witnessed and cared for these people when I didn’t know how to but found a way to be there for them, whatever was needed at the time. I have learned that life is not fair, that we do not have control of events or death. We do have control of how we manage our own lives and that is the important lesson here. Your daughter is going to rely on you for the rest of her life and yours. You will need to be strong and loving. That is the sign and the lesson you have from your Mother. It should hold you well as you go day by day to help your daughter with all of her FIRSTS - crawl, step, word, school, graduation, job, wedding, birthing. You were given the gift of life and also the gift to have a child. This is your sign from your Mother. Be grateful that you have fond memories of her and try to pass on those qualities to your daughter. I’m sorry you feel so alone right now. Perhaps is is postpartum depression too. That can happen; you should seek councelling and advice from your Dr.
This is a time to be joyous, so try to find that new path. I send you prayers for recovery.
Posted on 
Thanks for your support - 
Hi Rachel,
I’m so sorry for the news. Once you enter that ‘world’ of cancer it’s all around you wherever you go. Having gone through it with your Mom you are a veteran with field experience and will already better prepared to help out.
Regarding the memorial page I think you need to write to Jill who runs the blog.
Hugs,
God bless,
Jacques
I am so sorry for the pain you must be experiencing.
But how awesome to have such a special guardian angel to watch over your beautiful children.
Rachel; so sorry to hear of your recent shocking news. I guess you will have to help with this too.
If you want to your Mom listed on the memorial you need to contact Jill so that she can do that for you. Prayers to you.
Rachel,
I am so sorry for your bad news! I do hope it was found in time and that it hasn’t spread. I almost said “Jesus Christ!” out loud because that’s what I instantly thought. How about, Oh my God! This can’t be happening again!
Keep us apprised of his progress. My prayers are with you and him and family.
Love, hugs and prayers,
sweete2 better known as Ethel Craven-Sweet, the sweet 1. tee hee hee